2003update

Starting back in 2002 I had hit the all time low. I had hit 207 and was thrilled I couldn't wait to get to under 200 pounds. 7 more pounds that is all I had to go to get to this major stepping stone to the rest of my life. I was having heartburn like crazy and nexium wasn't helping. I was skipping meals for thing that were easy to go done like ice cream. Many nights I would come home and eat ice cream versus dinner. Then I made the worst mistake of my banded life. I went out to dinner one night and decided that I was so sick of drinking just water with my meals I would have something different. I ordered sweet tea. I liked it so well that my husband went out a bought me a tea maker for our aniversary. I added enough sugar to make it great I started drinking it. My eating was now under control. I would drink all the sweet tea that I wanted and was feeling great over the next 11 months I drank at least 3 quarts of sweet tea a day, noticing that my weight was creeping up but not willing to do anything about it. I stopped joining in on the support groups and distanced myself from everyone that knew me well. I didn't tell anyone that there was a problem and maintained to people that I was still 207 but the truth was I had regained some weight. I didn't want to face that. I continued to tell people that I was hovering around 207 and maintaining. At this point I realized that I had another problem that the band was now keeping my food it check was I was replacing the food with empty calories. Lots of them. I forced my self to go to the Tiajuana bash in Mexico in september of this year. I finally confessed to my closest friend that I had a problem. I was now up to 230-235 and hovering there. I was drinking all these empty calories. I knew what the problem was but I couldn't stop. I wanted to but was afraid to. The wisest person I know of the group said to me, I know exactly what you are going through it has happened to me too. I happens to me all the time. Because we were so large and there is so much emotional stuff attached to our weight we tend to sub conciously sabotage ourselves to maintain a weight were we felt secure at one point in our lives. The trick is to conquer that and quit beating yourself up and move past it. The more I thought about it the more it made sense. I graduated high school at 230 maintaining that through out high school with dieting and an active lifestyle. after high school I quickly gained weight and got up to 294. when I got married I was 230. I was the happiest at that time. After being married for a while, with the pressures I ended up to my highest weight of 380. Then the band came along I lost all this weight within a year and a half and I guess sub conciously I wanted to be where I was the happiest. I wanted more than that conciously I was secretly hoping for 174 but wanted just to get under 200 pounds. I had never been happy under 200 pounds I had lived through the horrible teenage years between 180-190 and then high school over 200. I had lost weight in my early 20's with white crosses. ephedrine and had gotten down to 178 pounds but had such a hard time adjusting to the weight loss that I started drinking alcohol which started a slew of other problems which lead me into a bad marriage. no wonder I was subconciously not wanting to get down under 200 pounds. After several talks with this very wise band sister I made the commitment to change what I was doing and to make things better. that was labor day weekend 2003. As of this morning, november 9th, 2003, I am now 211 pounds 4 pounds to being where I was a year ago. I have given up the sweet tea and have cut down the quanities of caffeine I put in my system. In 2 months I have lost what I gained over the last year, and plan to continue. I am going to be under 200 pounds by the end of the year or at least by February. I am planning on having plastic surgery then due to the loose skin and some back and neck aches I think is directly caused by the excess skin drooping in all the wrong places.



		2003 Update

OK like I promised I would put an update on my page. It has taken me a long time to get to this point where I was able to comfront everything. Now I will share what has happened to me over the last year. Here we go. This is long. Starting back in 2002 I had hit the all time low. I had hit 207 and was thrilled I couldn't wait to get to under 200 pounds. 7 more pounds that is all I had to go to get to this major stepping stone to the rest of my life. I was having heartburn like crazy and nexium wasn't helping. I was skipping meals for thing that were easy to go done like ice cream. Many nights I would come home and eat ice cream versus dinner. Then I made the worst mistake of my banded life. I went out to dinner one night and decided that I was so sick of drinking just water with my meals I would have something different. I ordered sweet tea. I liked it so well that my husband went out a bought me a tea maker for our aniversary. I added enough sugar to make it great I started drinking it. My eating was now under control. I would drink all the sweet tea that I wanted and was feeling great over the next 11 months I drank at least 3 quarts of sweet tea a day, noticing that my weight was creeping up but not willing to do anything about it. I stopped joining in on the support groups and distanced myself from everyone that knew me well. I didn't tell anyone that there was a problem and maintained to people that I was still 207 but the truth was I had regained some weight. I didn't want to face that. I continued to tell people that I was hovering around 207 and maintaining. At this point I realized that I had another problem that the band was now keeping my food it check was I was replacing the food with empty calories. Lots of them. I forced my self to go to the Tiajuana bash in Mexico in september of this year. I finally confessed to my closest friend that I had a problem. I was now up to 230-235 and hovering there. I was drinking all these empty calories. I knew what the problem was but I couldn't stop. I wanted to but was afraid to. The wisest person I know of the group said to me, I know exactly what you are going through it has happened to me too. I happens to me all the time. Because we were so large and there is so much emotional stuff attached to our weight we tend to sub conciously sabotage ourselves to maintain a weight were we felt secure at one point in our lives. The trick is to conquer that and quit beating yourself up and move past it. The more I thought about it the more it made sense. I graduated high school at 230 maintaining that through out high school with dieting and an active lifestyle. after high school I quickly gained weight and got up to 294. when I got married I was 230. I was the happiest at that time. After being married for a while, with the pressures I ended up to my highest weight of 380. Then the band came along I lost all this weight within a year and a half and I guess sub conciously I wanted to be where I was the happiest. I wanted more than that conciously I was secretly hoping for 174 but wanted just to get under 200 pounds. I had never been happy under 200 pounds I had lived through the horrible teenage years between 180-190 and then high school over 200. I had lost weight in my early 20's with white crosses. ephedrine and had gotten down to 178 pounds but had such a hard time adjusting to the weight loss that I started drinking alcohol which started a slew of other problems which lead me into a bad marriage. no wonder I was subconciously not wanting to get down under 200 pounds. After several talks with this very wise band sister I made the commitment to change what I was doing and to make things better. that was labor day weekend 2003. As of this morning, november 9th, 2003, I am now 211 pounds 4 pounds to being where I was a year ago. I have given up the sweet tea and have cut down the quanities of caffeine I put in my system. In 2 months I have lost what I gained over the last year, and plan to continue. I am going to be under 200 pounds by the end of the year or at least by February. I am planning on having plastic surgery then due to the loose skin and some back and neck aches I think is directly caused by the excess skin drooping in all the wrong places. I am just so thank ful fo this band. I feel like I needed to take that year off from losing weight to let my brain and emotions catch up. And now that I am ready to start back to some serious weight loss the band is here for me and continues to work as great as it did when I first got it. To me I feel like I am the most fortunate person in the world to have this wonderful flexible tool to help me conquer this battle. Look forward to some more pictures after my plastic surgery guys. I may even put some more up prior to surgery for before and after effects.

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